Do I miss it?

Besides, "when are you going to have a baby", the most asked question I get is whether or not I miss teaching.

The answer simply and honestly is "No".   I can tell you that I never imagined I'd be where I am today.  I never imagined that I wouldn't be teaching.  I certainly never imagined that I'd pay for a college education to then later become a nanny.  Sounds a little backwards huh?  But that is the case.

Because this seems to be such a point of interest with family and friends (who make up the majority of my readers), I thought I'd explain.  So come along as we take a walk down memory lane and I let you know how I got to the place I am right now.

I guess it all started in first or second grade.  You see, I can't pinpoint the exact year, because I had the same teacher and was in the same classroom for both years.  But being the very visual person I am, with the ridiculous memory (which is both a blessing and a curse!)... I remember when I made the decision that I wanted to be a teacher.  It was in the classroom in my small Christian school in South Dakota.  I loved my teacher.  I loved school.  I loved all the little art projects and grading papers just seemed like fun.  Why not be a teacher?  This passion and desire was placed in my heart at this very young age, and never once did I waiver.  I was told often, "you don't want to be a teacher".  But I did.  From a very young age I knew that I was going to go to college to get my Elementary Education degree.  I did just that.  In fact, when it came time to figuring out what my minor would be, I had a hard time.  I couldn't think of anything I would want to do besides teach, so I didn't know why I would want a minor in something else.  Eventually I just settled on getting a minor in Bible.  I figured it couldn't hurt since I was most likely going to teach in a Christian school.

And a Christian school is exactly where I ended up.  The twists and turns, crazy coincidences, and divine appointments that led me to my first job is just mind boggling.  (Too much to share in this post.)  I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going where God wanted me to be.  I still believe that to this day.  I followed His lead and He directed me right to Ohio.  I was given the first grade teaching position and took off running.

I taught at that Christian school for six years.  I can honestly say that I LOVED my job for the first four years.  I loved everything about it.  I loved teaching.  I loved the family unit that the staff made up.  I loved my students.  I loved my classroom.  It was so easy.  It was one of those situations you hear about... where they say if you love your job enough it won't feel like work.  That is how it was.  Somewhere towards the end of my fourth year, things started to change.  People started to change.  Rules were no longer rules.  There was a bunch of political garbage going on and I no longer loved where I was at.  I considered leaving.  I thought about it, I prayed about it, and I talked it out with people I respected and trusted.  I remember when I finally made the decision to stay.  I was having a talk with my "adopted mom".  I told her that my head really really wanted to leave.  I wanted to be done with it all.  But my heart said God wasn't finished yet.  I wanted to leave, but He had yet to tell me it was OK.  So I stayed.

My fifth year I was absolutely miserable.  I had a rough class and no one backing me up.  I am a very black and white kind of person and I was swimming in a pool of gray.  I am a very "follow the rules" kind of person, but no rules were being followed.  I was getting married that summer.  I didn't want to get married and leave my job all in the same summer.  I knew I would have to give it one more year.  That last year was much of the same as the fifth year, maybe even worse.  I had a great class that year though, so I was able to go out on a high note in that regard.  I had a peace about leaving.  God was saying, "Ok, Bethany, you can go."  I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I needed OUT.  The situation I was in was toxic for me and I had to get out fast.  For my own sanity, health, well being... Make sure you read that right.  I did not say the school was toxic.  I did not say the staff was toxic.  I did not say teaching was toxic.  However, the situation I was in was very, very toxic for me.  I needed a change.  I needed to breath.  I needed a place where I would be uplifted and encouraged and not told to go left one day and then get yelled at the next day for not going right.

So I left.  I was told, as well as all my colleagues in a staff meeting, that I was walking away from my calling.  I'm not even going to being to discuss how wrong that was.  I was also told that God was not going to bless me for "walking out of His will for my life".  Again, not even going to touch the surface of how wrong it is for someone to say that to me.  I was also told that I should not be so materialistic.  That just because my friends have nice houses and cars does not mean that I need them.  That God would not bless me financially if I wasn't doing the work of his ministry.  Then OTHERS were told that I was leaving for these reasons.  A year and a half later I am still living in the same house and driving the same beat up cars.  Enough said.

Many ask why I didn't find another teaching job.  I wasn't burnt out from teaching, but I was burnt out of all the garbage.  Because of certain situations, my heart was not ready to go to another Christian school.  I also never really felt called to teach in a public school.  So that left me looking.  And once again, God directed my steps.

I wasn't even planning on becoming a nanny.  I was going to work with autistic kids.  However, to have all my options out there, I started looking online for nanny jobs.  I sent a few emails and most people responded that they would love to have a teacher but they couldn't afford me.  Fine with me.  Until one day, I got an email saying that this guy would like to talk to me.  We had a phone conversation and set up an interview for the next weekend.  It was the first and only interview I went on (just like my first teaching job).  I went on the interview in February, knowing I couldn't start another job until June.  This happened to be perfect for the family.  Their current nanny was pregnant with her second child, due to deliver the first week in June.  They called me a week later and offered me the job.  (I was not their first applicant/interviewee.)  I accepted and the rest is history.

I do feel that I am in God's will for my life at this time.  I am blessed--both financially and otherwise.  I have a complete peace.  I have no stress, no high blood pressure, no tears, no stomach issues, and no episodes of wanting to bang my head against a wall. :)

It's not all about money.  Let's be honest.  I would have stayed at that school for my entire career had I felt that's where God wanted me.  Obviously teaching in a Christian school is a full time ministry.  Most Christian teachers make less than pastors, if you can believe that.  I gave six years, even with naysayers trying to be in my financial business, because that's where God had called me.  I struggled.  There were times I couldn't pay my bills.  Most of the time I had two, three and even four jobs to help pay the bills.  I did it, because that is where I was suppose to be.  I would have stayed.  Even being payed peanuts... I would have stayed.

Do I miss teaching?  No.  All the things I loved about teaching, I am doing now.  I am teaching Little Man every day.  I am planning.  I am organizing.  I am doing "field trips".  I am doing all sorts of fun art projects.  I get to see the light bulb moments.  I am being a Godly influence to not only Little Man, but the family I work for and all I come in contact with through our activities.  Not only am I doing all the things I love, but I am overwhelmingly appreciated.  I am respected.  I am treated with dignity.

Do I miss grading papers? No
Do I miss staying late for teacher meetings, open houses, conferences? No
Do I miss inconsistent leadership? No
Do I miss having a dress code? HECK NO! :)
Do I miss ridiculous parents? No
Do I miss giving 110% and being expected to give 150%? No
Do I miss always having the "rough class" because I know how to handle them? No
Do I miss being told to "pray about it" or "just love on him" when discipline action should have been taken? NO
Do I miss paying for all sorts of things out of my own (very shallow) pocket? No
Do I miss being "scolded" during prayer? No
Do I miss being told to "take one for the team"? No
Do I miss being asked to do more and more and more with less and less respect? NO
Do I miss being yelled at? No

I think you get the point.  The things that I would miss would be my teacher friends and a few of my favorite families.  But I get to keep up with them through lunch dates, phone calls, facebook, running into them at random places, and visits.

Don't get me wrong.  I love teaching.  I love being a teacher.  It is who I am at my core.  It's easy for me.  It's second nature to me.  I will always be a teacher.  That doesn't change.  Do you get that?

I cannot even put into words how much I LOVE my new job.  I love everything about it.  I once again have a position where it doesn't feel like "work".  I love the little guy that I get to hang out with every day.  I love influencing the foundation of his life.  I love teaching him new things.  I love looking at and experiencing life through his eyes.  I love nap time. :)  I love the car I get to drive.  I love the people I work for.  I even love their parents.  I love all the fun things we get to do around town... things I would never have known about otherwise.  I love all the people I get to meet.  I love all my new friends.  I love my pay! :)  I love all the gifts and treasures I get.  I love the notes telling me how much I'm appreciated.  I love being able to shape and form the life of a little boy.  I love cuddling up on the couch with Little Man and reading books or watching cartoons.  I love it all.  I could keep going, but....  I won't!

Now you know.

This is where I'm at today.  I may teach again one day.  I may not.  But for now, I can confidently say that I'm where I'm suppose to be.