Wednesday, September 26, 2012

"So how do you like being a stay at home mom?"

This question has been asked of me no less than a dozen times in the last month.  My answer, "I don't know yet."  Truth be told, it's something I have always envisioned myself doing.  Even though I knew I was going to go to college, and I knew I was going to become a teacher, I also knew that I was going to be a stay at home mom.  It's just one of those things that was so important to me.  Sooo... I'm sure I will like it.  I just haven't been able to get into the swing of things yet.

I spent the first two weeks of my SAHM status packing up an apartment, trying to find a place to live, and stressing out about all the above.  I spent the next two weeks of my SAHM status unpacking, taking care of a child who wasn't loving the move to a new place, and stressing about all of the above.

I am mostly unpacked.  The only thing left to do is hang things on the walls.  This has left me with a huge unsettled feeling.  It's an ugly circle that I don't know how to break.  I don't have anything on the walls because I don't love what I have.  I also don't want to just throw stuff up just for the sake of having stuff up, because then it's something I feel self conscious about when people come over (I did that at our last place thinking we would only be there a year). But I don't want to buy new things because a) I don't have the money for it, and b) we WILL only be here a year, so who knows what the next place will bring.  That brings me back to blank walls.  The blank walls are causing me anxiety and making me feel like I can't move on or start a routine until it's taken care of.  Yeah, I have an illness. I know. :)

Even though I am still trying to turn our house into a home, I have been able to move past it a little to start some of our routines and schedules.  I knew that when I was able to stay at home I wanted to be deliberate about our days.  It's so easy to just get sucked in to surviving the day instead of living the day.

First on my list was socialization for Olivia.  She was needing it BAD.  We took the summer off of Little Gym because of my job, so the only socialization she was getting was from 6 year old Little Man and the church nursery.  She would practically jump out of her stroller or the cart when she saw another kid her age. Not only was she craving that interaction, but it was necessary for her to learn how to behave around other kids.  So we are back at The Little Gym and she is loving it!  It's so good for her too--on so many levels. 

We also joined a MOPS group.  We've gone twice and she has done great in the MOPPETS program both times. (I was so nervous!)  Our group has 121 moms and is separated into tables. You sit with the same ladies each time.  Each table (mine is the pink table) does a play date and a Mom's night out once a month.  I am super excited about this opportunity.  Our normal meetings are on the first and third Wednesday of the month.

Our library also offers story time one day of the week and then a music class another day of the week.  We will be trying to hit at least one of those each week.  Plus, we will be frequenting the Toddler open gym that I blogged about.  On top of that, we have a friend who is always up for play dates.

I also plan on being deliberate about our time at home too.  Independent play is so good, but so is structured "learning" play time.  On top of reading books, and having some sort of music time, I plan on doing a simple activity a day with Olivia to help work on age appropriate skills and development.  Don't worry... I'll be sure to blog about them! :)

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