More Little Man and Olivia hilarity

I've already told you that Little Man is super excited about the arrival of Olivia.  He is always asking me questions, telling me things I should do, and talking to my belly.  Here are some more funny conversations for you.

Backstory: One day, while driving in the car, we discussed that Olivia will soon be joining him in the back seat.  I explained to him that she will be facing him, so he'll have to help me watch her.  He was pleased with that.  He also likes that she will be dropping him off at school and picking him up.

A few days later we were sitting around watching TV and he said, "I love you".  After a pause he said, "but not as much as I love mommy".  I told him that's how it should be.  He can love lots of people, but he should love his mommy and daddy the most.  Then I said, "Just like Olivia will love me the most because I am her mommy".  That led us to a circle of who loves who and how much.  A half hour later he said, "You know Bethany, I think Olivia might love me more than she loves you.  I know you are her mommy, but I have curly hair." Ha ha!

He followed that up "I think Olivia is going to think I'm her daddy".  Before I could even get a word out of my mouth, he emphatically said, "I KNOW Michael is her daddy, but I think she might think I'm her daddy.  You are going to watch her when she is home and I'm going to watch her in the car, so she might think that I'm her daddy". LOL!

How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

I got a kick out of this and thought you might too...

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go off and on at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light bulb is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
 
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

Funny Commercial

Recently, I was watching some clip or video on the internet and had to watch one of those pesky commercials that they make you endure before actually getting to the thing you really want to see.  However, this one was actually worth watching.  It caught my attention and literally made me laugh out loud.  Watch for yourself.



I don't actually have one of those backup cameras in any of the cars I drive, but if I did... I would totally do this. Genius!  I actually sort of wish I had one now.  Not for backing up, but for spying!! :)

I made Michael watch it.  He laughed throughout and then when it was over said, "That reminds me of you!".  I smiled and said, "I know!"  ha ha ha ha!!!

Yikes!

I got an email from "The Bump" (which is a sister website to The Knot, which I used for wedding stuff).  I usually delete them, but today's tag line caught my eye.  It said, "What will your future baby look like?"  Michael and I talk about this all the time.  Will they have brown eyes, or blue eyes?  They will for sure have a round face.  Will they have blonde hair or brown hair?  So, I figured, what the heck.  I'll try it.  It said to put two pictures in, so these are the ones I chose.

and

and got....

YIKES!

Our poor daughter is apparently going to have two different sized eyes.  I don't think Michael or I have this problem, but you know what they say---beauty is in the eye of the beholder!  Maybe we are missing something. :)  Also, are her teeth jacked up?  I have perfectly straight teeth, and Michael isn't even showing any teeth.  Where did the chipped tooth come from?

I decided to give it another try, and this time find out what our boy would look like.  I thought the eye issue might have been because my picture was a little from the side.  The directions said to use one that is face on.  So this time, I used the same picture of Michael, but this picture of me.

It's still not quite head on, but whatever.

This is what it said our boy would look like....

We are now reconsidering having children!  LOL!

Lessons Learned While Camping...

Yesterday I shared with you our 4th of July camping adventure.  It was lots of fun, but also a good learning experience.  We are going to do it again sometime next month, so the information gained will be helpful.  Here are a few things I picked up along the way.

• Who are we trying to kid?  An air mattress is a must!  The ground is hard and mean.
• Bring more blankets then you think you'll need... even in July!
• Socks are required for sleeping.  Cold feet equals cold Bethany.  Bring socks!!!
• Laurie seemingly thinks it's perfectly normal to tell people she is going to give them a "huckle knuckle sandwich".  (Then look at you like you are the weird one for never hearing such a thing.)
• The Amish do not feel the need to keep their dogs quiet at night. 
• Some Amish dogs are apparently nocturnal.
• Bullfrogs really are nocturnal and will serenade you all night long.... whether you like it or not!
• Multiple shooting stars can be seen in one night.  Who knew?
• No on knows how to multiply fractions.
• The ground, the tent, and everything else will be soaking wet from dew.  Yep, even in July.  Don't touch the tent!!!
• Flip flops are not the greatest thing to wear when traipsing through six inch high, soaking wet grass all the way down the hill and to the house to pee (in the middle of the night).  Especially when you are already cold.
• A little cake for breakfast never hurt anyone.
• Don't stand where you can secretly be surrounded by two horse heads at once.  You might get a little scared and spook the horses!
• Horses can sneeze too.  ON YOU!
• Who know diapers were use on an injured horse's foot?  And when burning said diaper in the fire, it is probably not the best time to roast your marshmallow.

Ahhh.... can't wait to do it all again soon! :)

Kids crack me up!

So I've had a few funny stories happen with or around me the past week.  I hope they are as funny reading them as they were when they happened to me!

Little Man and his soccer coach were talking after class.  Little Man tends to sweat a lot.  Coach asked him how he was doing and he started saying how he was so tired and he was going to have to go home and take a nap.  We had been discussing Little Man being a "sweaty beast" as I like to call it.  Coach asked him if he was going to take a shower too.  Little Man whipped his head around and said, "NO!!!!!!  I don't take showers when Befany is at my house.  I only take showers with mommy and daddy!"  Coach was a *little* embarrassed, but the rest of us thought it was hilarious.

My friend Laurie is also a nanny and we like to do play dates together a lot.  We were having a picnic and her little guy was sitting on her lap.  He said, "Miss Laurie, I couldn't even begin to count all of your freckles".  Little Man pipes up quickly, "Oooh, but you can count mine.  See!?" and points to one little dot on his arm. :)

I was in the dressing room trying on some clothes and a lady was in the room next to me with her kids.  One little kid asked her why she didn't just try on the clothes out there.  The mom kind of just said, "Uh, because".  The little girl goes, "Because all those people don't want to see your po po".  LOL!!!!

I was playing with Little Man one day last week and I said something that he apparently thought was funny.  He said, "Befany, you are the craziest and funniest girl I ever had".  Love him! :)

Flashback Friday

I've decided that just for fun I'm going to do a "Flashback Friday" every once in a while.  This may include pictures or stories from the past, a re-visit of old blog posts, or other thing I come up with to look back on.

I think you are really going to enjoy this first one!!  I have a special treat for you. :)  Back when I was teaching, I would go all out for special occasions and fun "days".  One of those fun "days" was Dr. Seuss day.  We would make green eggs and ham--with the kids actually cracking the eggs, stirring, and scrambling in an electric skillet.  We'd read Seuss books... play educational games... do related art projects, etc.  I would also make each kid a scrapbook to give them at the end of the year.  Because of this, I always took pictures of everything and made sure I had fun pictures to include.  One such picture I did for Dr. Seuss day was that I drew out a huge Cat in the Hat.  I cut out the face and then had the kids pose inside the Cat in the Hat.  They loved it.  When I quit teaching I had to bring everything home.  While some of the stuff sat in our living room waiting to be taken to my mother-in-law's basement, Michael decided to look at some of the stuff.  He came across the Cat and want his turn to pose in the cut out.  I just happened to snap a picture.  Lucky us! :)

Don't worry... I still have it in case you want a picture too! :)

Happy Friday my friends.

Some rules kids won't learn in school

You may have seen this circulating around the internet, in chain emails, or heard it mentioned a time our two.  It's pretty funny (and in my opinion rather true as well), so I thought I'd share it.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!  

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 

 

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.   

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.  He doesn't have tenure.

 

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.   

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. 

 

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents were not as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.   

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.   

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.   

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 

 

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

The only problem is--apparently rule number one should be "Do not believe everything you read".  We all know that already, though, don't we?  This has been circulating as something Bill Gates said.  Not true.  It was also stated that he said it as a graduation speech at a school in California.  He never gave such speech.  It actually came from a book written by Charles J. Sykes and there are more than 11 rules.  Either way... it's still pretty good.  Check out this link for the scoop.  (or just google it! :)

UGG!

Here's a conversation that happened between Little Man and I a couple of weeks ago.  

I think you may get a kick out of it.

Setting: Little Man is putting on his boots getting ready to leave the house.

LM:  "What does U-G-G spell?"

Me: "UGG"

LM: "What is UGG?"

Me: "It's the type of shoe mommy buys you"

LM: "Does your shoe say UGG on it too?"

Me: "No, I can't afford UGGs"

LM: "What does 'afford' mean?"

Me: "It means they cost too much money for me.  But mommy goes to work all the time so she can afford shoes like that for you."

LM: "And you never work?"

Me: "No, I do.  My work is to come here to your house.  To watch you and take care of you and take you to all sorts of fun places.  That's my work".

LM: literally laughs out loud!!! "That is NOT work!"  HAHAHAHA!!!!  Love that kid.

Tim Hawkins (again)

Did you all enjoy the videos I posted last Sunday about Chick-fil-a?  After seeing those videos, Michael and I spent an entire night watching all the Tim Hawkins videos on youtube.  We had some pretty good laughs!

I decided to share another one of our favorites.  It's about different churches, church "talk", and more.  It's 10 minutes, but try to watch the whole thing.  It gets better as it goes along.  Enjoy!

A little Chick-fil-a humor

So for those of you who may not know, I love Chick-fil-a.  Not only do I love their food, but CFA and I go way back.  I started working for Chick-fil-a when I was 14 and became an assistant manager when I was 16.  I worked for CFA a total of 5 years.  I had CFA clothing, I had a CFA movie (creepy, I know, but it was from work).  I have one of Truett Cathy's books (he's the founder), signed with a note to me, that was sent to me with money for one of my missions trips.  I also got the small college scholarship they give to some of their employees.  I've never dressed up as a cow (that wasn't their mascot back in the day), but I have walked around a co-worker who was dressed as a crazy chicken.  (Yuck!  The inside of those costumes smell!)

I basically ate CFA for five years straight, and still eat it to this day.  It is my all time favorite fast food place.  I think I could eat it every day and not get bored of it.  (Ok--I did.  For five years, but you know what I mean).  I take Little Man there often.  I would say weekly, but it's not quite that bad.  Maybe every other week.

All that to say............  I came across a "clean" comedian on a friends blog.  When I went to check out the comedians page I saw that he had a song about Chick-fil-a.  Intrigued, I checked it out.  I think you all will enjoy it as much as I did.  I dedicate this next song to my sister Angella! :)




So then after seeing THAT hilarity, I came across this clip.  To set it up, he's at a CFA operators meeting (similar to "owners" but CFA owns all of their restaurants.)  The shot they do of the front row is Truett Cathy and his sons, who are now the CEO's of the company.

Potty Talk

 

I have a confession....  I've become that person that refers to using the restroom as "going to the potty".  It's sad really.  I'm 30 years old.  I don't have children of my own.  Yet, that pesky little "potty" word has slipped into my day to day vocabulary.  I guess it's the hazard of the job.  I can be at the nicest restaurant with my husband and still say, "I'll be right back.  I have to go potty".  I mean, who does that?  I have a feeling the potty talk won't be going away for a long, long time either.  I apologize to all those who are much classier than I.  I do not mean to offend. :)

Here's a funny "potty talk" between me and Little Man yesterday:

setting: we were sitting at McDonald's having lunch with friends and he announces that he has to go poopy, so I take him into the bathroom.

Me: "Here, go in this stall"

LM: "You go in that one next to me"

Me: "I don't have to go"

LM: "Just try for me, OK?" 

Me: (laughing out loud) "Ok".  Then I held his door shut while sort of standing in the stall next to me so he wouldn't see my feet right in front of his door.  So funny!

"Agacados"

I have been on an avocado kick lately.  I use to hate guacamole--and yes, I had tried it.  But for some reason over the last few years my taste buds have really been changing.  For the past six months or so I have become mildly obsessed with avocados.  I will order things at restaurants just because it has avocado in it.  Most recently, I have been putting them in my lunch wraps.

Little Man has taken note.  He always pays attention to what I am eating and sometimes asks me if he can have what I have.  One day last week I had an avocado and he wanted to try it.  He LOVED it.  He then went on to eat a fourth of the avocado I brought.  He calls them "agacados".  At first it started as "agacajos", but has moved  closer to the actual word. :)  The next day he asked me first thing if I had brought him some of that "green stuff I love".  He ate another fourth at lunch that day as well.  He was in the middle of eating it and suddenly said, "I'm just so embarrassed I can't stop eating this stuff".  OH MY!  I literally laughed out loud.  He says the funniest things sometimes.  Yeah for loving "agacados"!

Cute

Yesterday I had to run home in the middle of the day and I had Little Man with me.  He's been to my condo before and finds it facinating every time.  It's cute to watch.  Anyway, this time we pulled up, and as we were parking he said, "Are these houses glued together?"  Well... I guess you could say that! :)