A blessing and a curse

Isn't the mind an amazing thing?

At least I think so.  When you really stop and think of all it does.

Now, I am not the smartest person in the world.  I wasn't a 4.0 student.  I'm not even sure I could have been if I wanted to.  I'll admit, I didn't put a lot of effort in, but it didn't come easy either.  (I like to say my brother got the brains and I got the common sense.  I'm happy with my part of the deal!)

Anyway, that's a whole other story.  This post is about my memory.

  If you know me--as in truly know me--you may know that my memory is somewhat a freak of nature.

If you don't know me (or know me that well), this is me.... peeling off a layer of the onion for you. ;)

You've heard of photographic memories before, right?  I like to call my memory videographic.  Or at least that's the best way I can describe it.  There is no rhyme or reason to the things I remember, but once the detail is stuck in my head, it is stuck!  

Sometimes the information comes in snapshots, but usually it's like playing a small video in my head.  Sort of like when you look at houses online and you can choose the "virtual tour" button.  I can see the entire surroundings of where the event took place and can generally play back the entire conversation in my head.  So if someone mentions an event from the past, I don't just remember the event, but my mind immediately goes to the place where we were and I can visualize where everyone was standing/sitting and usually what everyone was wearing.  Who cares, right?  That's sort of my point.  It's just stuck.  

Not only do I remember events from the past, but I can almost always remember where I put things, the dates of events coming up without looking at a calendar, where Michael put/lost things, etc.  I randomly remember dates and things people were wearing.  Sometimes, I scare myself.

Here are some examples:

Back in high school I had a boyfriend.  His mom was the type that rearranged her furniture every month or so.  I was at their house while she was putting up her Christmas decorations and she couldn't remember where she had put the tree the year before (seeing as the room had changed about 12 times at that point).  Not only did I know where the tree went, but I also knew where every piece of furniture was to go.

I visited a school in 8th grade to see if I wanted to switch.  I remember what the math teacher was wearing that day.  Why?  Because I'm a freak.

I remember a girl that lived on my block back when I was in fifth or sixth grade.  Her name was Jamie and her birthday is December 3rd.  Why do I know her birthday?  I haven't seen her in 20 years.  It's not just her either... Jay from 9th grade-his birthday is January 2nd. Steve from Chick-fil-a--his birthday is February 3rd.  I could go on...

I remember what I wore every "first day" of school for all six years I was teaching and also what I wore each year for the awards chapel at the end.  Why?  So I wouldn't wear the same thing from year to year.  Do you think anyone else would notice?  NO!  But I would know.  My fellow teachers used my memory often.

I could go on, but you get the point (and this post is already too long!)

That is the blessing.  I hardly forget things.  I rarely lose things.  I'm almost always where I'm suppose to be, when I'm suppose to be there and on time.  I can rely on my memory and all it's weird facets.

The curse is that no one else remembers things, or they straight up LIE (I will not mention names, but you know who you are!!).  The worst of it all, is that some people make things up and state them as facts and they never even happened.  How can one do this, is beyond my comprehension.

But unfortunately, it's these things that DRIVE ME CRAZY.  After stepping back and analyzing the situation, I'm pretty sure my memory (and others lack of one) is why I no longer teach.  Multiple times I was told one thing and then told something totally different months later.  The person directing me probably didn't mean to contradict themselves, but I remember.

I remember far too much.  I remember things that certain people probably don't think I remember.  I remember things I wish I didn't remember.  I remember things some family members might be horrified to find out that I remember.  I wish I could just have the kind of memory that is good with dates and where Michael left his wallet and what time I was suppose to meet my friend for coffee.  I wish I could just not remember the unimportant stuff, or erase the hurtful stuff.  I wish I had a delete button for some of these useless files.

 Unfortunately, I remember....