Michael is hilarious! I've said it before, but unless you've experienced his humor or his witty one liners, you may not believe me. A lot of people think he's quiet. He is far from quiet! He cracks me up on a regular basis, and lately it's been from comical conversations related to having a baby. I think you'll enjoy these! :)
One thing Michael completely understands, gets, and dwells on about babies are the poopy diapers. We have had discussion after discussion about such topics. Frankly, he's terrified! Once, we were at a life group event, and we were sort of early. We were sitting around in a friends living room talking and one of the mom's went to change her sons diaper. It was not poopy--just pee. Michael leaned over to me (horrified), and said "
Is she going to do that right here in front of us?" Through my laughs, I said yes. He actually got up and went into the kitchen to "get a drink". LOL!
He knows that he is going to have to change poopy diapers. I have given him article after article to read, so he isn't shocked when something crazy happens! Before we were even pregnant, he was coming up with a list of items that he would need to change a diaper. 1) He wants an apron as to not get dirty or sprayed. 2) He wants something to plug his nose, because he doesn't think he'll be able to handle the smell. 3) He wants "rose colored glasses", as to change the appearance and color of the poop. 4) He wants gloves--to be fully protected of course. After having this conversation multiple times, I finally said to him, "We're going to need a second diaper bag just to carry your stuff". He literally froze in his tracks and said, "
Oh, I didn't think about having to change the diaper outside of the house". Oh man--I was crying from laughing so hard.
It's not entirely his fault. He didn't grow up around babies like I did. Plus, he's a guy. It's not like babies interested him much over the past 30 years. He fully admits that when it comes to his own kid, he'll be more hands on and be willing to try things.
Last week I was killing a little time before picking Little Man up from preschool. There is a children's boutique in the strip mall near by. I decided to go in and take a peek. It was full of pink and brown and everything had ruffles or bows or glitter. I saw a few things that were cute. One was a onesie that said, "My dad did my hair". Later that afternoon I was telling Michael about the shop. I mentioned the onesie and once again, he froze in his tracks. His face alone cracked me up! After stammering for a few seconds he said, "
I'll actually have to do her hair sometimes?" I said YES and he said, "
Like when?" I said there could be times I may not be around. He said, "
Oh. I just never thought about having to do her hair." I think he was getting a little nervous. I just kept laughing and laughing.
As mentioned before, we decided long ago that bath duty would be his. I will have our child(ren) all day every day. By him doing bath, it will give me a break and allow him to have some bonding time. Plus, it's just an easy way for him to do some of the "chores" that come with child raising. With that in mind, I said, "You're going to have to brush her hair often anyway. You'll have to brush it after bath. You can't send her to bed with tangles!". Once again, you could practically
see the wheels spinning. We have been talking about him doing the kids baths for probably over a year now. All of the sudden he realized we were having a girl and he said, "
Uh... when can she start bathing on her own?" LOL! I said it depends on the child, but that even when she was a little bigger he'd still have to help wash her hair and dry her off, etc. He said, "
Well... when can they start washing their own body parts?" Oh boy. This guy is in for a looooooong ride!
That also led us to a conversation about him having to take her to the bathroom in public. I told him that he was going to have to at some point, and that even though he is extremely modest, that he's going to have to get over it. I reassured him that it's not inappropriate at that age, and that it must be done. He just looked at me and then said, "
When am I ever going to be out in public with her and you won't be there?" Yep. He actually thinks I will always be around! :) I said, "You're never going to take her out just the two of you? What if she begs to go with you?" and he said, "
Well, that won't be for years" I said, "So you aren't going to take her anywhere until she's old enough to ask to go with you?" He got a smile on his face and said, "
Yeah" Do you see what I'm dealing with? He has no idea! :) He said, "
I just really can't picture a time or reason why you wouldn't be with us". What I really find funny about the whole thing is...... I'm pretty sure that when she gets here--he's not going to let her out of his sight! He'll be begging me to let her go to the store with him. You wait and watch! I'll keep you posted!
