Following God's Lead

"  You moved to Texas to be a nanny?"   That's what the waitress said to me at the restaurant the other night.  I'm sure she's not alone in her thinking.  It probably does seem a little strange.  On the surface the answer is "yes", but really, I moved here for so much more than that.

When I told you all that we were moving here I gave you a little bit of a history and reason why.  I thought I'd expand on that a little today.  It's not that I need to justify my reasoning.  I don't feel I do.  It's more so that I can share what God has done and how we strongly feel He directed us here.  There have been the few people who were not happy with our decision to move away, but overwhelmingly I heard from my friends and family things like "that is awesome" and "what a great opportunity".  I had multiple people tell me they had a peace about us going... that they felt it was right for us... and even some who said they "could see God's hand in all of it".

I'm not sure when the story officially starts.  I guess it could be as far back as when we got married, but I don't think I'm going to go back that far.  I'd say it started when I quit teaching.  (I had a teacher friend say to me that she laid in bed one night telling your her husband how she could see all the ways God had moved and directed and blessed me since I felt called to leave the school I was at.  How cool is that?  I feel it, but to have others recognize it is awesome!)  I knew I needed to leave where I was at, and the job with Little Man literally landed in my lap.  It was perfect.  It was the only interview I went on when considering leaving my job.  I was offered the job in a week.  That was in February.  Do you know how huge that was?  I could finish out my school year with a job guarantee for June.  That's nearly unheard of when it comes to leaving a teaching job.  It gave me the peace I needed about my decision.

But getting back on track... Michael has been ready to have a baby since he turned 30 (about 6 months after we got married).  I was not as ready! :)  However, I came around about the time I turned 30 (last year).  We weren't necessarily in the position we wanted to be to have a child.  But after a major melt down and pity party (by me), we decided we'd go ahead and give it a go.  We could make things work if we had to.  That was around the end of March.  We decided the pill pack I was on would be my last, and we put in a call to our Realtor to put our house up for the second time.  She was heading to Italy, but would get back with us in the next two weeks to finalize it.  Things were rolling, or at least plans to get things rolling were in place.  Then, the first week of April, Michael got laid off.  Yep, I'd call that a major wrench in our plans!  It stopped all plans to start trying for a baby.  It stopped all plans to put the house on the market.  It stopped all our plans.  However, it did not stop God's plan.

We knew there was a reason for everything, but we weren't seeing what God's plan was.  We prayed for answers, but weren't really getting any.  So we decided to just wait.  That's all we could do right?  Michael enrolled in school, I kept working, and kids and a house once again got put on the back burner.

We felt very unsettled.  We were sick of being where we were.  We felt stuck.  We continually prayed for answers and waited until God directed us.  Even though I knew and trusted that God had a plan, I'm not going to lie--it was discouraging sometimes.  I knew though, that while I could not see the big picture, God could. We had to trust.  As one friend put it, "you went through a nine month birthing process".  Why yes, we sure did.

We started going back and forth on the baby issue... back and forth, back and forth.  "People have done it with less".  "We have a good support system".  "We could make it work".  These are the thoughts that we kept throwing out there.  We went to Ft. Wayne for a weekend in October and the discussion got brought up once again.  My uncle made a comment that "eventually you just need to step out in faith".  We went to bed that night talking about it again.  Should we "step out in faith"?  It's what we had been talking about all along.  We slept on it and woke up the next morning asking the same question.  We decided that we should.  We've had many friends and some family struggle with getting pregnant.  They say that if you have problems, you have to try for a year before they'll do any testing (unless you are over 35).  We figured that we'd give it a go and leave it up to God.  If we were suppose to get pregnant, then we would.  If it took six months, then great.  If we went a year and had problems, then at least that year would be under our belt.  So it was set in motion.

About two weeks later (not knowing that I got pregnant in one week), my boss dropped a bomb on me.  I could move to Texas, or stay in Columbus and try to find another job.  One of the reasons why we had not had a child yet was that it was my desire to stay home with my kids.  In order to do that, we would have to be completely debt free.  Needless to say, asking if I could bring my kid to work with me was one of my first questions. The answer was yes, and it seemed like a win/win situation.  I would get paid to be a "stay at home" mom.  We'd have money to pay the bills and I'd get to spend the day with my baby.

So here we were.  Unsettled.  Feeling stuck.  Wanting a baby, but not really in a good place to do it.  Praying for answers.  Then, God drops the answer in our lap.  We said yes and a week or so later found out I was indeed pregnant.  Only God could have timed it all so perfectly.  So many things could have been different.  If Michael had a good job, we may not have gone.  If we would have gotten pregnant a little sooner, things might have been different.  Instead, the minute we stepped out in faith and trusted God with our decision, He answered our prayers and He answered them big.

I believe God brought us here for many more reasons than just to allow me to "stay at home" with my baby.  I think he has great things in store for us here in Texas.  Again, I don't know what He's up to, but I'm sure it's going to be great!